Surgery Lessons #1 ~ the Truth Unveiled

So you’re going under the knife. First time maybe, maybe not. Still your anxious. General anesthesia can be scary. Will you wake up? Is it really like Grey’s Anatomy? Many of you may or may not know, that i am a nurse in the operating room. It’s going on six years now and i like to think i pretty much know the ropes. The ins and outs if you will. My experience doesn’t just lie in doing the work but i’ve also had a few surgeries myself. I’ve decided to let you all in on some surgery secrets..okay they are not all really “secrets” but more like advice and the truth about what goes on when you are under. So grab your pencils and take notes!
  • Yes, you will wake up, unless of course you are on the brink of death before getting put under.
  • Its nothing like Grey’s Anatomy!! We are not having sex in the call room. We are not all having sex or relations with each other. Unfortunately, none of the docs look like McDreamy either.
  • Oh and the men and women have separate locker rooms too!
  • Surgeons do not yell and scream at us or throw instruments. Its not allowed. Sure, they get pissed and frustrated but they are not swearing or yelling at us. They may yell in frustration but who wouldn’t?
  • I’ve seen more penises and vaginas than i really care to share. Believe me when i say, we aren’t the slightest bit interested in your “down there” region. So, relax.
  • When you are asleep, we are not talking about you.
  • Yes, we listen to music. Not classical crap either. Its usually surgeons preference, but some don’t care at all. I admit to bopping around the O.R. to some Kanye West at times.
  • When they tell you “No food or drink after midnight,” that doesn’t mean you can have coffee or juice or a couple crackers. Its means Nothing. At. All.
  • Please, please, clean out your belly buttons when you are in the shower. You dont know how many times we pick stuff out of belly buttons before we start. (Instant gag reflex) Gross!!
  • Ladies, if you are coming in for surgery, shave your legs and your pits.
  • Its not all bloody and gory like depicted on tv and in movies. Patients are draped out so that the only part you see is the small part of the body you are working on. Blood and guts are not going everywhere…its very controlled, and not that gross.
Thats all for now! If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.
Class Dismissed!

About Miss Blondie
Nicole (aka Miss Blondie) is a single mom to one little boy. Follow her journey as she balances life in the dating scene, work, and motherhood while trying to find the humor in it all. She also loves to introduce new products to her readers as well.

Comments

  1. 1
    nicólle says:

    Thanks for this. I’m going to be having a major surgery in less than a month. I’ve decided to write about it, I’ll be posting info and all the stuff that lead up to this decision soon.

  2. 2
    Leah says:

    interesting! Thanks for sharing!

  3. 3
    Sissy says:

    I knew they noticed if my legs weren’t shaved! My husband thinks he knows everything.

  4. 4
    Kim @ What's That Smell? says:

    Why, of all things, did the belly button thing gross me out?

  5. 5
    Schmoochiepoo says:

    Dang…so the nurses were laughing at my unshaved legs and pits when I had my car accident. I knew it!!

    :)

    Do you guys notice good/nice underwear?

  6. 6
    Torrian Denise says:

    This is too cute but much needed. Too much Nip/Tuck. The belly buttom is a bit much for the stomach!! Gross!

  7. 7
    ~Michelle~ says:

    You’re a riot.. LOL…. I think almost all of those made me LOL. I ALWAYS make sure to shave my legs before all dr’s appts and surgeries, now I’m happy to know it’s appreciated! hahaha.. and the belly button part is SO gross.

    This was a really great post :-)

  8. 8
    Jenn@mylifewiththecrazies says:

    OK I can understand emergency surgery… not shaving the legs BUT really, if u have surgery scheduled then why wouldnt u shave your legs & pits! Gross!

  9. 9
    Swirl Girl says:

    I never thought about the bellybutton thing – eeeewww!

    …and even if they did look all McDreamy – I’d be pissed if they were talking about their sex lives while operating on me!!

  10. 10
    Rhonda says:

    This is hilarious – I manage a surgical center so I was high-fiving ya on many things! Seriously, what don’t people get about NPO?
    I love the ones that say they’ll go into a diabetic coma if they miss breakfast… so they have a muffin anyway.

  11. 11
    Jessilyn82 says:

    This was really interesting! I'm surprised so many people go in with dirty belly buttons and hairy pits, I'm so obsessive about making sure everything's perfect the night before I go in for surgery. I bet you see a ton of strange things!

  12. 12
    Erin Tales says:

    LMAO. I should have read this before Wednesday. I didn't clean my belly button, dammit!

  13. 13
    VanBurenMom says:

    Ha ha ha ha! OMG that is SOOO TRUE! When I had my car accident 5 yrs ago I was in and out of it in the ER and I still remember to this day the nurses apologizing to me for cutting off my clothes because they were ALL brand new, bra and undies too!

  14. 14

    uh, yeah, thats frkken hillarious.- I promise to shave my right leg ONLY since that is the ONLY one being surgicalized on Dec. 8th. arthroscopic meniscus repairs and scraping of all the arthritis thats up in there makin my knees sound like Capn’ Crunch.

    To maby put a smile on your face?! I had gastric bypass in 2002. I drew a smiley face on my belly with a Washable marker and my CLEANED OUT bellybutton was the nose…

    The surgeon drew fake stitches across the top of my forehead.

    (He was a family friend.) I about peed myself when I looked in the mirror. I was stoned with stitches for hours and no wonder people were smiling so much when they came to check on me.
    I guess they would ‘get it’ if they told me I had a frankenstine forehead.

    Yeah, I really did almost pee myself when I saw. But, i was in so much pain I couldn’t even pee when I finally made it to the bathroom.

    Yeah, they made me walk immediately after wards. You know, good ol thrombosis. And those lovely stockings that squish all your fat over the top of the stocking.

    Im not a big gurl anymore, so the surgery worked, and I didn’t die of a thrombosis either!

    I think that would be weird if I did – because I wouldn’t be writing you right now.

    Love your blog

    If anyone goes to my etsy site, please come back in a couple weeks, I only have one thing posted! I’ve been too busy to post more!

    Peace!!!

  15. 15

    [...] with the Mom label doesn’t mean that is what this blog is all about. You can be sure to gain knowledge from her profession or nod your head as you read along why we all won’t be winning mother of the year, this year [...]

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