I have noticed over the year and a half that I have been blogging there are lots of skeptical people in my life who don’t believe you can have a true friendship through the online world. How well do you really know them? Can it be a real friendship? “You don’t really know them.” “If you’ve never met them, how do you know they are real.” These are the types of things I hear. So I feel the need to set the record straight. Mostly because i am so sick of having to explain and “prove” my friendships are real.
First off, you can ask those same questions about people in your real life. What difference does it really make if you only know them through a computer screen or face to face? People can lie right to your face as easily as through the computer. And second, through blogging we get to know a lot about a person and their family just through their writing. As bloggers we share some of the most intimate details of our lives with strangers and we get the support we need from other bloggers.
My online friends are women who I talk with on a daily basis. These are real friendships that developed over time just like a “real life” friendship would. Let me use Gena from the Morris Bunch as an example. I consider her without a doubt one of my best friends. I met her through blogging, we talk on the phone, we skype, and we text all the time. She happens to be one of the first people I call when I have a problem or just need someone to listen. She is always there to offer support and just be a friend. I know all about her family as she knows about mine. But I have never met Gena in person. We have never gone for lunch or out for a drink. But we stay connected and it doesn’t feel like we’ve never met. Some of my online friends I have been fortunate enough to have met, hung out with, gone to events with, and travel socially with. But I don’t think that that makes those friendships any more meaningful than the ones i have developed with women that i haven’t yet met.
Sure, there are lots of superficial friendships online or virtual friendships that don’t go beyond the online world but there are also definitely real friendships created online through blogging, online communities, and social media. And I guess until you experience it first hand you wouldn’t understand. Online friendships are Real friendships.
So when I refer to my friend, please stop asking if its just a “blogging” friend. No. Its not. Its my friend. And it doesn’t matter how I know them.
About Miss Blondie
I absolutely believe you can have close friends online. I have one, Martha, who I’ve known for years. We chat on Yahoo Messenger all the time (well, whenever our schedules permit) and I consider her a good friend. If anything was bothering me, I wouldn’t hesitate to buzz her over Yahoo or even call her. We’ve never met IRL but that just doesn’t matter.
MY IRL friends don’t really get it – they don’t understand how you can be close with someone without ever having “met” them. My family doesn’t get it either. Sigh.
Thats my point exactly!
You are absolutely right. A friend is a friend…period. The end.
Aside from my Mom, I the first person/people I would talk to, about good or bad in my life are people I met online…sometimes even before my Mom!
Although I’ve never met any of the women I talk with online IRL, I still consider them friends. I’m really excited to meet some of them at the Disney Conference though
I 100% agree with out , I meet a friend actually online playing a video game. This was 4 years ago, even though we have never met in real . She is like my best friend, I was there for her through a divorce . We have stood beside each other all the way through thick and thin.
Stefanie, I love her to bites she is like the baby sister I never had.
I refuse to explain to people the online friends and real friends. I don’t even use that term online friends, cause they are way more to me then that.
Great post Nicole Hugs
Friends are friends. I met my husband online on a message board 5 years before we even got together. Does that make him any less my husband? I have so many online friends, they literally outnumber my IRL friends – and it doesn’t make them any less my friend.
I am blessed to have you as a friend.. I hate when ppl ask that question too!! xoxo
AWww…this is the sweetest post! I totally get what you’re saying too. Most of my friends are people I have met online. We talk on the phone, text all day and make plans (dreams) to one day meet IRL. I have learned more about my online friends’ lives online then I would know about a IRL one in months.
Oh and I love Gena too! We’re gonna have to fight over her. I told her I was going to sue for joint custody! lol
Ya know I truly love you. I couldn’t agree more with you. I NEVER say “my blogging friend” or my “online” friend. Stoney knows that you are my friend and I would do ANYTHING for you. As well as others. I have met some remarkable women online. Not the superficial friends that call when they want to gossip. People that are there for each other and love to get to know ME. People that would drop everything if I needed them. As you know, Stoney has even said before “If any of your friends ever need a place to stay even if it’s to get away, they can come here.” My family is all the same way! LOL Nicole has not just seen me on Skype but she’s seen my whole family. My dad flirts with her (who can blame him) and it’s just a lot of fun! I am so blessed to have gotten to know you and have grown so close with you!
You are my friend…my friend that keeps trying to steal my Gerard! Does it mean I care for you any less since I haven’t met you in person? HELL NO! Would it hurt me if you were hurt…even though I’ve never met you? YES! It doesn’t matter that we all haven’t met in person…
Oh yes I think we may have to rethink this friendship thing if she doesn’t want to share Gerard! Come on! Friendship is about Compromise!
I can compromise. Fine. Neither of you get Gerard. Just me. There I compromised.
Yep that’s not compromise!
Most people I talk to are online. I consider them friends. My mom used to be the skeptic until her husband died and than she found an online community. I just like i got to tell her i told you so
Oh I agree with this post. Great job. I agree that until they’ve had a friendship like that they just wont understand.
I agree…a friend is a friend no matter where the source of the relationship developed!
Of cource you can have real friends on here. I bet some bloggers are actually closer with each other than with their local friends. Not that I would know, nobody wants to be my friend online. ( HA! )
Shane
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Great post! I totally agree. I am such a recluse & always have been…a lot of my friends are “online” friends. In fact, I met my fiance through the internet. Not thru a dating site or anything…I chatted with his best friend online who showed me their band’s website. I thought the lead singer was cute. We were only 16 & 17 and 700 miles away, yet it’s 10 years later and we now have a beautiful son. I have several 10+ years friendships I have made online…some I have met in person, some I haven’t. I still don’t discount them as true friends.
PS- I LOVE that pic you posted!